Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
