Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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