Swine flu is the new snow day.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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