I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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