So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize