She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
