He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
