Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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