bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize