I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
