talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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