Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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