OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
