Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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