awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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