Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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