Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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