I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize