Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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