What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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