is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
