How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Pooping to opera.
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