people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
