Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
