My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm at about main and main street
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch