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She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
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