If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize