Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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