kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
My bed smells like the plague
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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