Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
