When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
