We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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