Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
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