Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
