fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
only if we run a train.
done.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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