Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
