he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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