his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Randomize
