They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
