so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
