gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
