So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
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Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
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It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
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