And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
