Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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