he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize