weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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