i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
