Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Buhtt sex?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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