So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I would ride that face into the sunset
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
