Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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