Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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