Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
