I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
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I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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