My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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