where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize