it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
