I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
