i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize